"The Holidaze Song" (not for chirruns!)

"Oh, the Holidays...
dear Holi-dazed...
put a bullet in my head...
no, not just a graze...

No, not really...
now I feel silly..
cuz I have a better plan
in mind instead....
(One in which it's others--
not me--that wind up dead!)

See, I favor homicide
over suicide;
Why should I be the only one
who's cried and had nerves fried?

If you kill yourself this year,
assholes will still be filled with cheer,
and if you kill yourself my dear
there's just no way to get revenge.

But if you simply must decide
best to go with mass homicide;
when will you get that many douches
in one place again?!?

Cuz suicide is too much
like they killed you twice;
I'd prefer to stay around
and fight the fight.

Besides... why would I hurt myself
on the word of a filthy drunken elf,
whose clues are dusty on a shelf..
they condemn me but they're in hell.

But after I have vented here,
I'll probably just expose my rear,
and tell everyone to be a dear
and kiss it where the hole is near.

Oh Holidays,
dear Holidaze...
Thank goodness this thankful shit
comes only once a year!

**************************

c. 2012 Robert Lee Sayre II