A guy had been flirting with me
for a couple of weeks recently
and it felt magical superior wondrous
for it has truly been a desert
on the dating and personal relations
side of things here in nowhere-land.
It's transformative really to have
an unexpected opportunity open up
amidst the disappointment and insanity
that so often litter the days in this world.
Let's face it New Things are exciting and
as-yet-uncomplicated and wide-open and
promising and fresh and the shot in the arm
of vitality and hope and possibility
that we suck up like a sponge
drunk on our neediness and desperation
we just plunge that needle filled with
vague unknown potential and titillation
straight into a vein like the drug it surely is.
All of a sudden our bleak existence is
singing undiscovered notes and melodies
seeing our surroundings in a new light
believing in kismet and amore and laughter
regularly being more daring and emboldened
restructuring perspective and worldview.
Most of us are so intensely ravaged daily
that there is a desperate unquenched need
to be desired and pursued
to be treated well and revered
to be flooded with affection like a newborn
to be given a chance lottery-winnings style
to be noticed as if a blooming flower
to be touched as we are wired to be touched.
These things which should be a given aspect
of every day existence in order to thrive
yet are relegated to reunions and parties
if ever
and yet we all feel the surge of needful longing
but there is no place to go to receive it
free from snake-oil salesmen and indoctrination
and a countless caveat of demands and concessions.
There is no bar wherein congregants have a tacit
understanding of a need to be held and stroked
and perhaps to lie in embrace for as long as is
possible.
We have constructed no shelter where the masses
might flock to console one another and
encourage and treat one another like rock stars
call us by name show interest in our struggle
take our side in an argument
talk lovingly to us brush our hair
massage our feet offer to fix us a meal
tell us our outfit looks nice and so do we
meet our eyes with a mix of anticipation
and elatedness.
If such a place existed I would frequent it
on the regular and I would never want to leave
and the world would be better and prisons
would be less congested and violence would be
reduced and work performance would improve
and people would treat strangers better and
there would be less road rage and less need for
medication and health would improve.
If such a place existed.
So I decided to be bold and ask this guy out
the one who had been relentlessly flirting with
me for certain no misunderstanding and
he seemed not to hear me at first and then
he seemed not to comprehend what I was asking
and then he ignored me and
fourth strike because I am in fact desperate
although not proud of it
he appeared disgusted and horrified at
this thing I was suggesting
the notion of spending time with me
and at the end of the day I really don't know
why the fuck I have any interest in people
at all.
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