FIGHTIN' WORDS

Seth: "All I know is that every time I say anything about my stuff,
you show no interest...or maybe even condemn it!"

Roger: "I sound like a horrible person; I can't imagine why you
bother with me!"

Seth: "Save the false-immodesty; I know your game. Look, point is
I need support, too. It can't all be one-sided!"

Roger: "What do you want? Every time you do something, I throw a parade?"

Seth: "Screw you. You might as well have yawned and looked at your
watch when I was telling you about the most important piece of
information ever regarding my career! You acted like I was crazy
to be excited...you changed the subject as soon as I finished talking!"

Roger: "I didn't know it was some big deal; I assumed you were finished and
that was the end of it. Sometimes you kind of ramble...I never really know
when you're through! I don't know what you want from me. I really
don't. I'm sorry, I guess."

Seth: "No you're not. You just think it's the right thing to say. It's my
fault. I know how you are, and I came to you to share this anyway.
I knew better..but I was as excited to share it with you as I was
that it had happened."

Roger: "All you seem to want to do is criticize me. Every time I turn around
you complain about something I do. If I'm so bad, maybe I don't need
to be around people."

Seth: "I give you plenty of praise. Never seems to be enough. In fact,
I think the reason you ignored my advancement is because you can't
stand for anybody else to get even a little bit of attention and spotlight.
I don't take it personally, usually; I know it's just you."

Roger: "See? That thing right there you did! "I'm not really cutting you down,
I'm just speaking plainly." Or "Oh, I don't mean any offense, I'm just
telling you so you know." Baloney! You get off on lobbing these under-handed
complaints and still smelling like a rose."

Seth: "And you can't admit wrong-doing no matter what! You just sit there
looking pretty and wounded, like I imagined the whole incident, and I
ought to feel ashamed for speaking to you so harshly."

Roger: "Well, you've been going on about it for a while now, so surely you feel
like you've milked it for its 15 minutes."

Seth: "You're an arrogant prick! You dismiss me, then act like I'm a dick for
being offended! I think the only reason you keep me around is to fluff your
ego--a thing I excel at. Giving you praise is the only time I speak when
you aren't counting the seconds til you get to speak."

Roger: "I don't think that makes me different from anybody else on the planet. Maybe
if you weren't some hyper-sensitive attention-starved psycho, you'd be okay with
somebody else getting a word in edgewise!"

Seth: "Me?! You're the one with the ginormous ego, buddy! I've even seen you pout
when nobody wanted to continue on one of your conversation topics! You can't
stand to be overlooked! We should all be grateful beyond compare that the mighty
Roger has deigned to share his wisdom with us! Glory Hallelujah!"

Roger: "Well, now that you've had your weekly meltdown, can we just eat dinner in
peace? I'm really sick of fightin'."

Seth: "Enjoy it! That's the last of my home-cooked meals you'll be getting for a
while, turkey! I wouldn't want to waste my breath talking any more anyway. No
point when nobody's listening."

Roger: "Listen, okay...stop. Just stop. Look..I heard a good joke today; let's bury
the hatchet? Here it is; 'Guy says "God is dead--but don't worry: Mary's pregnant
again!"' Pretty cute, eh?"

Seth: "NOW YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF MY RELIGION!?!?!"

(and so it goes.....)